Introducing the Lunocet Monofin!!!

Look at this thing. Now we can all swim like the fishes, dolphins and Phelps! This has to be one of the best gadgets I’ve seen all year.
Here’s the plan. Get my hands on fifty or so of these things and choose qualified candidates to be a part of an elite society of fish people. Our society would be grand. We would build great big castles under the sea, grow our hair long and sing siren songs of peace and euphoria.
Phelps would be our king and we would worship him above all others. That is until our true nature got the better of us, causing wars to break out over who loved the water-fish-man-god most. Castles would crumble and calamity would surely follow…
…One day on his speedy flip flap home, our dearest deity would be speared, or some other equally tragic crime would take the life of our peoples’ inspiration. We, as fish people, would suffer forever more.
Now that I think about it this may not be the best gadget. I think I still want one though.
Yeah, I do.
Filed under: Consumer Rumors, More Diversions | Tagged: fish, gadgets, king, lunocet, monofin, Phelps, society
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I more or less see this sea-ciety crumbling and ending up at the bottom of an ocean, for Haley Joel and a gay Jude Law-bot to find, at which point future-Spielberg would make a movie about it that would, unfortunately, go on about 20 minutes longer than it had any right to. And if Phelps was speared, I for one would elect Kevin Costner as the new King of the Sea.