“Can’t Go On, Everything I Had Is Gone, Stormare Weather”

“He ate my arm you selfish prick”

Save for that short quote from Carla Gallo (Undeclared), Insanitarium is a vapid waste of time. Jesse Metcalfe fakes a mental illness in order to get into the institution where his suicidal sister is being held. Once admitted, he discovers that the patients are being treated with a drug that transforms them into zombie-like animal creatures (the transformation is evidenced by the cool burst-colored contacts they now don). Then, for about four hours, Metcalfe and company try to escape.

What was I thinking? Miles makes a suggestion, I’m intrigued, I watch the movie and then Miles makes fun of me for watching garbage. Clever girl…

Despite the presence of Peter Stormare, every single aspect of this piece of trash was unoriginal, utterly forgettable and downright maddening. I can’t believe that I made the mistake of pausing Olympic coverage to watch this.

Zombies are great. Asylums are great. However, in this case two great things don’t make a right-minded premise for a film.