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Jesus! I post one review of one movie and suddenly everyone’s like, “meh meh meh, you can’t do it meh meh.” Well I’ve got news for you! I’m doing it! This is night 2 (two; pronounced: tew)! How many left after this? Whatever! Pshaw!
Onward.
So I mentioned a whole bunch of movies yesterday as potential candidates for my second ever installment of MMY, but when I got home from work today I didn’t feel like watching any of them. So I watched Tourist Trap. Here’s the fruit of that loom.
What’s a (insert name of film here)?: A place where puppets and psychics in doll masks kill teenaged people, and not much else.
Who did this to you?: David Schmoeller decided to direct, Charles Band produced, Tanya Roberts starred.
Why now?: I’ve had the movie sitting on the shelf for a while now and it has one of the most undeniably creepy covers of all time. I’m also sort of in a Charles Band mood (I bought the Puppet Master box set earlier this week and it came in the mail today). Plus, you reach a certain point as a horror fan where you sort of have to watch this.
Did you like it?: Meh.
How come?: Listen, there’s some really wonderful shit going on here and I can see why the film has survived for as long as it has. Like Motel Hell it’s one of those fringe, bumpkin horror movies with enough quirk to set it apart from the rest of the pack. Unfortunately, it’s also kind of slow and repetitive. There are a number of scenes in which characters walk into a room full of mannequins and the camera cuts around, staring at a bunch of lifeless, plastic faces. This is every shopping trip I’ve ever taken to J.C. Penny’s (i.e. FABULOUS!) captured in all its glory on celluloid. Thank you for that.
The score is also sort of a problem, or rather, its placement is the problem. The music that plays over the credits, with its off-timing and oddly whimsical tone is enough to make you believe that you’ve stumbled across a film and a composer of rare qualities. And then they keep playing the same themes. Over. And over. And over. It made me dizzy.
But let’s get back to what makes this movie special: the puppetry/doll-faced psychic killer. The design of the dolls and masks in this film are CREEEEEEEEEEPY (scroll back up the page if you don’t believe me) and whoever shot this thing had the taste to keep most of them in the dark, painting the empty eye sockets and gaping maws in deep black shadows. After watching this, I’m actually a little shocked that the character designs haven’t been re-appropriated for the nostalgic horror merchandise crowd in a bigger way.
What else?: What else is there? Like I said, the movie thrives on character design, not story. If you want to see this same film done better, watch any number of horror films where a group of kids stumble upon a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere only to be hacked by an Ed Geinesque crazy. Oh, and did I mention that the killer is telepathic? That’s sort of new, right?
What’s the moral?: Puppets are not to be trusted.
Are you sure you want this to be your written record of how you feel about this movie?: I’m pretty secure with this one, yeah.
Best Scene: The final shot. That’s not the slam on the movie that you think it is, trust me. It, of course, involves mannequins.
Breast Scene?: Almost! Fuck! There’s some very chaste skinny-dipping, but the movie is PG so we don’t get much more than that.
Deathst Scene?: Tanya Roberts has a knife thrown into the back of her neck by a Native American wax dummy. She takes her time dying. Another girl is suffocated by lumpy plaster.
Weirdest Scene: It’s a film made up of weird scenes, so I’ll go with the opening, which has the virtue of being fresh at the time. It involves disturbing puppets and a telepathic pipe to the gulliver.
Worst Scene: Any scene in which you can tell that the entire crew was told to grab a mannequin by the ankles and push it menacingly towards the camera.
What’s next?: We’ve got some nice variety going so far, and I’m not going to spoil it. I’m thinking Errol Morris’ Standard Operating Procedure.
363 Days Left.
Filed under: Film/Television, Gozer, More Diversions | Tagged: Charles Band, Full Moon, Puppets, Standard Operating Procedure, Tourist Trap
Go Miles! As someone who’s actually completed a “do something once a day for an entire year” project, let me tell you, it’s next to impossible, and barely rewarding! Just kidding, it’s totally impossible. Do what I did, and have Shar write half your reviews.
see! At least I didn’t say it was impossible!