Viral Marketing Will Kill Us All

As many of you may know, I’m scared of a lot of things. All of them make perfect sense to me, but some people contend that I am being a little unreasonable when I cautiously turn each corner. Well this morning I added one more thing to my list of worries: the effects of viral marketing on my natural instincts.

“Huh?” you seem to say – let me explain. I was getting ready in the bathroom today when I started to think about a YouTube video I was sent the other day. It was of a creature that was found in a North Carolina sewer.

My immediate reaction was that it was a promotional video for a new Blob remake – that’s what scares me. What if that SHIT is real?! It’s a farther reaching, louder shouting boy crying wolf, and we may all die because of it. That sewer monster could be in our drains right now, but we are all too busy laughing or investigating upcoming movies to care. We could die people!

Now that I think about it, there’s also gnomes and witches to worry about! Your natural reaction should be RUN. RUN from this Blob monster that oozes before you. RUN!