We’d Rather Get a Public Enema: Miles and Katie Don’t Like Public Enemies

Miles: So Public Enemies…
Katie:  So yeah – hated it.
Miles: (laughs). That’s all, folks
Katie: How do you take a fascinating story and turn it into a 3-hour long lame-fest? Just ask Mann. He shouldn’t have directed it – I thought all of his shots were wrong.
Miles:  I think you may be right, and I say that with reservations, because I don’t think the movie is terrible, but it is boring without a doubt.
Katie:  Meh. Honestly the only thing I was impressed by was the sound editing during the gun fights, which were incredible. The sound was perfect.
Miles:  The thing is, it’s almost a carbon copy of Miami Vice in that it’s shot in the same style, has long stretches of uninteresting, unenlightening character moments and then suddenly bursts forth with some interesting action beats. Beyond that, there’s not much that you can’t glean from the trailer. All of the best lines are there and you’re certainly not going to learn anything about Dillinger or Pervis. Especially Pervis…
Katie:  I totally agree with that. Except that I think more mojitos and go-boats would have helped this film. Oh, but Pervis….I’m fairly certain that Bale was channeling Obama for his accent.
Miles:  Does Christian Bale just not care anymore? Because he used to pick really interesting and challenging roles AND he brought something to the table. Now it seems he just shows up, scowls and goes home. And sadly, it’s not all his fault, because there’s just nothing to work with in this movie
Katie:  I thought everyone was forgettable in it save for Baby Face Nelson, but anyone who plays him will always be great because he’s such an awesome character/person.
Miles:  Depp has the same problem, but at least he’s able to Johnny Depp it up a bit. But yeah, I can’t think of Baby Face without thinking of O’ Brother, but I did like the guy that played him. And oddly enough, I thought Stephen Dorf was actually one of the better actors in the film. He had the right look for the period too.
Katie:  Even though he was only in it for about 2 minutes total.
Miles:  Sure…
Katie:  I was just so surprised by how fucking slow it was. It was like every shot lasted 5 seconds longer than it needed to. Ex: door….door…..door….door…..Depp looking at door…..door….
Miles:  I wasn’t, mainly because I’ve seen The Keep and that shit is slooooooow.
Katie:  I haven’t seen that.
Miles:  You’d hate it, I think. But anyway, this is the first movie I’ve seen in a while where it became abundantly clear that Johnny Depp had nothing to add to the character other than his perceived charm. He was essentially playing himself – a movie/rockstar
and frankly, that shit didn’t work for me.
Katie:  It sucks because he is usually so dynamic, but here it seemed like he was a dude wearing a coat that was too big for him.
Miles:  (laughs) Like a kid dressing in his older brother’s coat for a wedding.
Katie:  Exactly like that.
Miles: The only person who is remotely watchable and naturally charismatic in the whole thing is Marion Cotilliard and that’s only because she’s so fucking pretty.
Katie:  She’s pretty, but even she seemed bleh to me. After I saw it I said something that I thought I never would.
Miles: Yes?
Katie:  “I think I’d rather re-watch The Newton Boys.”
Miles: (laughs) I said something similar: “I could really go for some Fig Newtons”
Katie: “I’d rather listen to Olivia Newton John sing Let’s Get Physical”
Miles: The biggest shock for me was how much face-time William Powell and Myrna Loy got.
Katie:  I know! I thought they were gonna show the whole fucking movie
Miles:  But I loved that moment in the theater, mainly because I’ve grown to become a Thin Man fan.
Katie:  Right, well that’s all fine and good, but still…
Miles:  “I’d rather cover my balls with a fig leaf and read up on Newton’s three laws of motion.”
Katie:  (laughs) I like that one.
Miles:  And yes, no matter how often they kept cutting to those two actors, it didn’t make the movie any better.
Katie: Man, what a disappointment though.
Miles: It’s sad too, because I like Mann a lot. The Insider is one of my favorite flicks, period, and his style is so far off from that now.
Katie:  Yeah, I just hate the way he shot this. I understand wanting to stay true to your style, but come on.
Miles:  Think about it, it’s a movie in which very little happens, but you’re on the edge of your seat the entire time. How does he make a movie about robbing banks and escaping prison boring?
Katie: I was on the edge of my seat for this too, but it was because I was contemplating leaving.
Miles:  At The Insider?!?!?!
Katie: (laughs) No, when I saw Public Enemies.
Miles:  You’d better die if that’s what you meant…oh, anywhooo! I think we’re beating a dead, boring horse at this point.
Katie:  Newton.
Miles:  I’m going to type a memo into my Apple Newton.
Katie:  If Mann filmed a movie about beating a dead horse it’d be 4 hours long and shot with 56 cameras.
Miles:  Yeah, but parts of it might be pretty good. There’d definitely be some good blood oozing out of the horse’s head.
Katie:  Yeah for maybe the first hour, but then the next three?
Miles:  (laughs) And on that note, Newton.