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Goodbye Sprint or How My Service Provider Ruined My Life For Four Years and Then Decided They Wanted to Get One Last Jab in Before I Told Them to Fuck Off–Parts 1 & 2

Part 1: An Unhealthy Relationship 

I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t the best kid in the class in terms of my history with Sprint. There, now that I’ve established that here’s why this company is a piece of pooh hidden in shitty phones and false advertising: 

When I first signed with them years ago I was recommended for a plan that fit my average phone usage, which isn’t a lot. So, I took the advice and three months in realized that I was going WAY over my minutes and paying hundreds more than I should have been. When I called to ask what else I could do I was told that I talk too much and that switching plans at the time was not an option. All the while I was being treated like a fucking douche by the company’s motley crew of customer service dickwads.

 Anyway, after being overcharged for some time I was finally able to get on what they call their “fair and flexible plan.” This plan helps you save money because when you do go over your minutes you are charged a flat rate of $5 bucks per every 100 or so minutes. Okay, seems fine I guess. Well, I was still paying too much, not really using all of my minutes and what have you. So, I call them up and say I would like to change my FAIR AND FLEXIBLE plan to one with fewer minutes. 

“No, I’m sorry that’s not how that works.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t change you plan. What you have is what you have.”

“So, you’re saying that I can’t modify my fair and flexible plan?”

“Yes, that’s what I’ saying.”

“So…then…it’s not really flexible?”

“Ha, no I guess not.” (Please note the laugh—that’s the point I lost my shit)

“Can you please tell me what’s FAIR about any of this? I’m paying way too much and despite the fact that I have been a customer with your company for years, you people treat me like crap each time I call, refuse to work with me and continue to steal my money every chance you get.”

“Okay, well you aren’t allowed to change from plan to plan whenever you want. If you would like to renew your two-year agreement however, we can make the change right now.”

“Are you getting the feeling that I’d like to continue this relationship for as long as I can?”

“I’m sorry?”

“No, I would not like to renew. I would like for you to tell me if this plan is really fair and really flexible.”

“No it isn’t”

“Okay, thank you. Have a great night.”

“Thank you for calling Sprint, is there anything else I can help you with tonight?”

“Uhhm, no. You’ve been real helpful.” 

Part 2 : The Break Up 

So with bated breath I waited for my contract expiration date. November 19th, 2007. I had a countdown calendar at work and at home. Finally the day came, but instead of calling them up that day to cancel I waited until I had a new phone that I could switch my service to. I mean, that makes sense right?  

“Hi, yeah I was calling to see how much I would owe if I cancelled my plan tonight.”

“Okay one moment while I pull up your account.”

“Okee dokee.” (Please note the happiness here. This was the day I’d been looking forward to for so long.)

“Okay it looks like you already paid last month’s bill of $53.47.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“So, this month’s bill would be 53.47.”

“Okay, oh wait. I’m sorry. I’m asking how much it would cost if I cancelled tonight. I’m not going to be using the service this month. It’s only the 23rd, that’s…four days after my billing cycle.”

“Yes I understand that, but did you receive you bill in the mail for next month?”

“Yes.”

“Well if you have already been billed then we can’t refund you.”

“But that isn’t fair. I’m not going to pay for service I’m not using. I want a pro-rated rate for the days that I have used in this cycle. Why would I pay for—“

“It’s in your contract.”

“Where, where is it in my contract?”

“It’s in your contract that you signed.”

“Even if it is in the contract, my contract obligations expired four days ago!”

“Nope.”

“Nope?! Are you kidding me!? This is unbelievable. I am NOT paying for a full month when I’m only using four days. You can’t just bill me and then—“

“I’m sorry, but that’s the deal.”

“Wow, this is, wow. I need to talk to a superior.”

“I am the superior.”

“Ha ha, of course you are. Listen, I’ll talk to you all night until you admit how messed up this is. Where in my contract does it read—“

“Please hold while I research that for you.” 

At this point five minutes lapses… 

“Let me ask you, how much is the new service provider going to charge you for 450 minutes?”

“What? Listen, I am ending my service. I’m not going to sit here and listen to another sales pitch. I’m also not going to pay this fucking bill.”

“Would you like my superior’s voicemail?”

….….“Yeah, gimme the voicemail.”

“Okay and before I do, is there anything else I can help you with this evening?”

“Gimmie the fucking voicemail.” 

So I left the message and still haven’t heard back.  

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE never choose Sprint people. They are the fucking worst. If you don’t believe me, just go to http://www.complaints.com and search “Sprint.” See how many horror stories pop up.

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One Response

  1. This sounds eerily familiar to my dealings with Verizon…I’m sorry, Wynner…if it’s any consolation, they’ll be the first with their backs to the wall when the revolution comes.

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