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JR Dares to Mess with the Zohan

A Review by JR Wynne

South Park Episode 116

Producer: Watch this: AWESOM-O, given the current trends of the movie-going public can you come up with an idea for a movie that will break a hundred million box office.

Cartman: Um… okay. How about this: [the staffers take pen to paper and anticipate the ideas] Adam Sandler is like, in love with some girl, but then it turns out that the girl is actually a …golden retriever, or something.

Staffer 2: [thinking over this idea, then write it down] Oh, perfect!

Staffer 3: We’ll call it “Puppy Love”!

Staffer 2: Give us another movie idea, AWESOM-O!

Staffer 3: Let’s hear it! Come on, come on!

Cartman: Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler… inherits like, a billion dollars, but first, he has to, like, become a …boxer, or something.

Staffer 3: [the producers start writing again] …Yes, it’s flawless!

[later that day]

Cartman: Movie idea number two thousand three hundred and five: Adam Sandler is like, an Israeli counter-terrorist, but he fakes his own death to become a Hair stylist, or something.

Mitch: Yeah, YEAH!

As Prophesized by Eric Cartman, another Adam Sandler movie is upon us. I’ll get straight to the point. When Michael Buffer is the best part of your movie, you’ve probably missed the mark. In fact, I think most will find that nearly everything Adam throws at them misses the mark. But it’s the way the jokes miss that makes the Zohan worthy of your two hours. The angles that are attempted in this movie are downright bizarre. But ,just as you found it enthralling to watch the kid at your elementary school (you know the one who wore the same sweatpants for six years) throw a chair at your teacher, so shall you find the Zohan.

While the Zohan delivers a handful of laughs that no one will escape, most of the jokes will make you feel ashamed that you’re a human being. On the other hand the film is lighthearted and never mean spirited. And, it also bears the message that we are all related to one human family and there is no reason that we cannot live in peace.

As much as I wanted to hate this movie, I cant, that doesn’t mean I like it, but any flick that sounds more outlandish than something Cartman can come up with is worthy of a look. Which is why, at the risk of discrediting the HodgeBlodge, I must recommend this film. And if you find yourself cursing my name in the theater, be thankful I didn’t review The Love Guru.

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One Response

  1. did you hear that vanessa long was in this movie? i wonder if she made it past the cutting room..

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