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On the Seventh Day, God Created Shark Week

It’s almost here!! The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week marathon (July 27- Aug. 2) is one of my annual highlights. To give you a little taste of how excited I am, here is a bit of a conversation I had with Brian over the instant messenger machine:
Me (11:14:42 AM): blam, shark week bitch, WHAT?
Me (11:14:54 AM): (“what” was spoken like in a gangster voice)
Me (11:16:14 AM): man, im fucking PUMPED!
Me (11:16:41 AM): shah-shah-shah- SHARK WEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!
Me (11:17:01 AM): hells yeahhhh boooooooy-eeee
Brian (11:17:06 AM): in Discovery HD
Me (11:17:10 AM): mmmMMMmmmMMM
Brian (11:17:16 AM): haha
Me (11:18:14 AM): guess who’s coming to dinner?
Me (11:18:26 AM): that should be the headline for that picture
Brian (11:18:46 AM): haha
Brian (11:18:51 AM): where did that shark come from?
Me (11:18:56 AM): who knows, man
Brian (11:21:09 AM): god’s playing lawn darts with sharks
Me (11:21:21 AM): God loves Shark Week
Brian (11:21:26 AM): haha
Me (11:21:37 AM): that’s my new bumper sticker
Brian (11:21:39 AM): on the seventh day, god created shark week
Me (11:21:51 AM): on the first day you mean
Brian (11:21:56 AM): no
Brian (11:22:04 AM): the day he’s supposedly resting
Brian (11:22:06 AM): he made shark week
Me (11:22:08 AM): he was like, “fuck this is hard, I need some shark week”
Brian (11:22:18 AM): now that i got this world built
Brian (11:22:25 AM): it’s time for some fucking shark week
Me (11:22:32 AM): “fuck me man, look at these things I made. They’re deadly!”
Brian (11:22:35 AM): haha
Me (11:22:46 AM): “I’m fucking mean and fucked up kind of”
Brian (11:22:52 AM): it’s like he built the world as the ultimate home entertainment system
Brian (11:23:06 AM): just so that when it was sunday, he could watch some fucking shark week
Me (11:24:48 AM): seriously
Brian (11:25:43 AM): when they said he rested on sunday, he was just sitting back on a new Italian-leather cloud with his sandled-feet up watching shark week
Me (11:25:52 AM): yep
Brian (11:26:10 AM): dude, god was awesome for making sharks
Brian (11:26:15 AM): is there a religion we can join
Brian (11:26:21 AM): that believes in that
Me (11:28:25 AM): hmm
Me (11:28:29 AM): we can make one
Brian (11:28:33 AM): rad
Me (11:28:46 AM): Sharklic
Me (11:28:58 AM): “you catholic?”
Me (11:29:02 AM): “nope, Sharklic”
Brian (11:29:08 AM): haha
Brian (11:29:18 AM): god made the earth so that sharks can eat people
Brian (11:29:22 AM): that’s what we believe
Me (11:29:45 AM): yeah
Me (11:30:04 AM): there are two commandments
Me (11:30:20 AM): thou shall admire that sharks are killer beasts
Me (11:30:46 AM): thou shall let shark beasts be awesome and eat you should they deem it necessary
Brian (11:31:03 AM): haha
Brian (11:31:21 AM): i have a feeling that if this religion gets huge, we’ll have a lot of sacrifices to the sharks
Me (11:31:26 AM): probably
Me (11:31:31 AM): and so it shall be
Brian (11:31:36 AM): “O take me! godly shark!”
Me (11:31:39 AM): “and sharks ate people, and it was good.”
Brian (11:31:44 AM): haha
Me (11:31:47 AM): “shark begat death”
Brian (11:31:55 AM): haha
Brian (11:32:02 AM): you gonna write this book katie?
Me (11:32:05 AM): yes, yes I am


2 Responses

  1. You think we are the perfect killer? For every human we kill, Man kills 500,000 of us. Why do you think most of us just take your leg off and let you live? You don’t deserve to die, you deserve to suffer. Thank god you stupid monkeys will kill each other off soon, because you have forgotten how to live on the earth. But don’t worry about us. We’ll be here long after your gone, and it will be as it was before….paradise.

    p.s. Don’t wear wetsuits you look like delicious seals.

  2. Hi Katie, it’s great to see that you’re incredibly excited about Shark Week! If you’d like more info I’d be happy to share since I work with Discovery and definitely have the inside scoop.

    There’s already some great features you can check out at the Shark Week website:


    Be sure to check that link soon since there are some upcoming features like Shark Yourself which you’ll definitely want to keep an eye out for. This year’s Shark Week starts with a brand new Mythbusters at 9 PM on Sunday, July 27th.

    I hope you don’t mind me contacting you like this; I figured you’d love to hear more about Shark Week. Feel free to contact me back if you’d like to hear more, and have a great day!

    Shawn Grover

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