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Shudder at the Suckitude

Josh Jackson in a terrible movie

I don’t know why—I really don’t so don’t ask—but I watched the movie Shutter last night. Yes, the film starring the Skulls and Dawson’s Creek rebel Joshua Jackson. While I had prepared myself for a wretched movie, what came was something so much more gruesomely terrible than I could have ever imagined.

Despite the onslaught of Japanese-inspired horror films in recent years, I was under the naïve impression that these films were at least attempting to do something original, be it with storylines, effects or sound. Negative. Not the case.

Shutter should have been a SCI-FI original film. The effects were cheesy, the acting was deplorable and the story was nothing above that of a third grader rambling on about how mommy and daddy once dated other people. Seriously, it made me angry how bad it was. At least with films like The Ring and The Grudge I can have a laugh at what is going on. This wasn’t funny—at all.

Granted it should have been funny. Two newlyweds head to Japan for the husband’s new photography job. They’re happy and young and full of life. Oh no! They hit a girl while driving at night. Double oh no! The girl is now haunting them through “spirit photos.” Wait a minute, that’s no girl. It’s the ghost of the husband’s ex-girlfriend who he photographed being sexually assaulted by his friends. Whoa, I didn’t see that coming. You mean the husband was the bad guy all along? CRAZY!!! Fuck you, Shutter. You are a fucking atrocious piece of shit.

Predictable in story, shocking in its suckness—stay away from Shudder, ahem Shutter.

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One Response

  1. Thanks for steering me clear on this one. Once again, Katie, you do me a solid.

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