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“Cross the streams, Ray? WE CAN DO IT!”

By Elijah Bates
HodgeBlodge Gozer/Gatekeeper

Ladies, ladies, ladies, the days of yearning to be more than just the Ghostbusters’ secretary are over! For the first time in your once-miserable lives, all you femininas have been given the opportunity to gain true equality in the workplace, your homes and, really, the world at large. How? By offering you the motivation to get off of your lazy asses and drain the ol’ crotch-pocket while standing, of course! That’s right! The fine folks at GoGirl have solved a former dilemma of female experience by moving the antiquated squat-method to the back of the urine bus, thus giving you gals the luxury of peeing upright. Finally, a man and his wife will be able to truly prove their trust to one another by comparing sizes. At long last, girls will know the self-consuming humiliation of stage fright. And for once in your lives, all of you women will finally feel like Peter Venkman.

Just be sure to hide it from yourselves the second the cramps start kicking in, or at least lock the damn door whenever nature calls. That’s an egg-toplasmic nightmare so frightening, even Ernie Hudson would pee sitting down.


5 Responses

  1. How do you use this thing? Oh wait, “it just pop[s] in there.”

  2. Pop it in, whip it out and let loose! Asian porn will never be the same…


    I hope that people don’t confuse those cans of Go Girl with these cans of Go Girl.


  4. Now girls too can drink a half-gallon of gatorade in the hopes of writing their entire name in the snow–are there accuracy and stream control stats on this thing?

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